Abusive Parenting May Backfire
As said, people just love to take the Bible out of context to justify their sins like some adulteress I knew misused God's words that man should not be alone for her to cohabit with some other woman's husband who was estranged from his wife. It's no different with parenting. While parents should scold their children when they are wrong and should spank them, please not that there are LIMITS to everything.
Ephesians 6:4 says, "And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up tot he nurture and admonition of the LORD." Sadly, parenting that has deviated from the Biblical parenting has gone into extremes. Throw away the paddle, the horse whip comes in. So what has happened with parenting? If there is the extreme of overindulging children, we also can become the opposite a dictator. It's just like works salvation is as bad as antinomianism which opposes law.
Don't get me wrong- I am against the idea of spanking the buttocks and disciplining children, however I am against the idea of dictatorial parenting. I could probably start mentioning imposing harsh punishments to the child like slapping their face in public, threatening to cut off their finger if they can't get the answer right, yelling and insulting them with names like "stupid" and "moron" are not going to help in discipline. In fact, some of these moronic parents even wonder why their kids are just as bad as those who were pampered rotten by parents. The reason is due to psychological damage children suffer. If I'm to talk, to make matters worse these parents might also be the type to lie to their children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy while hypocritically teaching their children not to lie.
What consequences does abusive parenting do? I could name some examples based on my experience:
1.) Using harsh physical punishment other than spanking the child at the seat of education can create a bully or will instill the idea that violence is the answer to everything. It's incredibly moronic for old parenting in the East to actually do stuff like whip the child with a horse whip, become a very abusive parent, slap the child in public causing humiliation, insulting them, etc. will provide the wrong role model. Spanking is a necessity but the best discipline is to be a good example. In fact, using harsh physical punishment for a child who fails their test like burning them with a hot iron will cause resentment and two, destroy performance. In fact, the abused child might soon go out frustrated and beat people up not because he or she thinks the world is his or her playground but because he or she is mad at it.
2.) It negates the effect spanking should do. I remembered I knew somebody who spanked her children with a slipper or belt but she would only hit them at the thigh or buttocks. But one thing was certain, she did not insult them and rather told them they were wrong that was why they were spanked. She did not go to the extremes of slapping them, scalding them with hot water, etc. nor did she resolve to insults. Doing abusive action negates the good spanking should do and might make them go to the extreme of overindulgence. In fact, what good is spanking if the one who holds the rod of correction also needs a good spanking because of being a bad example?
3.) Insults hurt more than you can think and can kill performance. I grew up in a home where berating a child like calling them "stupid", "idiot', "moron" and whatever is considered acceptable discipline. But I say it's not acceptable. For one, insulting a person is not good for their well-being. Maybe it might make them move forward but the feeling of resentment can remain. Having been insulted for the nth time, I really remembered the time I had enough and decided to answer back. As said, if children learn to answer back if they are overindulged, the same goes for verbally abusive parenting. In fact if you keep calling the child "stupid" and "idiot" it might even make them give up on studying hard because in their mind they will say, "What's the use of studying if I'm an idiot as mama says?" will enter their heads. Of course, this also doesn't mean praising them for failure as well but as while failure must be dealt with like taking away their leisure time but hurting words are a big no-no.
4.) Forcing children to careers they cannot pursue also enters the list. I am really finding everything stupid to why parents will force their children to take what they cannot accomplish. God gave everyone different talents and we are to invest them. Like I would say it's utterly foolish to force a person who's bad in Math to take up engineering or poor in chemistry to become a chemical engineer. As said, people must pursue the careers they are only good at. Like encourage a person good in music to excel in it, let the good writer write better, etc. rather than unrealistic goals for parenting.
Just as said, there is always the balance that needs to be maintained like we don't sleep all the time, we don't work all the time, we don't study all the time, we don't eat all the time, we don't exercise all the time. Be an authoritative not an authoritarian parent.