Why Parents Insulting Their Children is NOT GOOD!

One of the worst things a parent can do to a child is to call names and insult them as a form of discipline. There is always the poor excuse that if you insult your children, they will do better. Now there's a huge difference between criticism and insult. Criticism is to offer an assessment of what is right and wrong about the person. On the other hand insulting means to treat with disrespect or scornful abuse. One of the worst things a parent can indeed do to a kid is to insult them.

So why doesn't insulting work? Certainly, we do need discipline in the family, that is a fact that we must face. Proverbs 13:24 warns that he who spares the rod hates the child. There's no question about it that if you don't discipline your children, you are not doing them a great favor. However the problem is that we also fail to balance discipline with love. There is the statement, "You can discipline without loving but you can never love without disciplining." True love results to discipline but a loving one.

Ephesians 6:4 warns parents not to prove their children. Certainly no parents like a disobedient bully, nobody likes a child who answers back. Nobody likes bad grades and bullying incidents asa parent. However we fail to see that if spoiling is not the only way to create a dysfunctional child, embittering them is another way. While it is certainly necessary to rebuke and admonish the child, but how admonition and correction is done will matter.

People think compliments are just like doodle stars and very good stamps. But the problem is that, no matter how much you put away the chart or the good mark stamps, compliments are always part of constructive criticism. While no parent should condone to their child's offenses but sometimes, stuff like cheating, bullying, stealing, lying, etc happens because the human mindset is vindictive. Sometimes you might realize that a teenager's reasons why he or she isn't doing well in school was to rebel by failing. I have tried rebelling my failing.

Where is the severe imbalance then? One must realize that too much discouragement is indeed why insults occur. While parents want to make their children stronger by insults, just think, too much heat is bad for anything. A good blacksmith knows when to cool his metallic crafts. He does not leave it in the heat for too long. Insult is likewise too much heat. While children do need to be scolded when they are wrong but name-calling is definitely not allowable.

Statements like, "Oh really! I can't believe how much of an idiot you are!" and the like won't push good performance. Ephesians 6:9 orders the masters to treat their employees well. How do you improve performance? Yelling? Shouting? Insulting? Overindulging? Certainly reward and punishment system is applicable but as said, do not belittle the laborer. Just where is the businessman without his army of workmen? None. Likewise, parents must never ever insult their child if they expect their performance to be well.

Now where does the problem with insulting lead to? Embitterment, grudges or even parental distrust which can happen. Sometimes a parent can say, "Well I did not overinduldge my child." But has he or she thought about the other extreme/ Certainly many fail to see that spanking is ineffective if the spanker deserves a spanking. What does that mean? Just think, a parent who lies about Santa Claus and the Boogeyman is just as bad as the child who lies to him/her. Also to yell and insult while forbidding a child from ever doing the same is double standard. What many fail to see is that good example therefore undermines authority.